Dear blog readers,
There's 2 weeks left of my internship in Stirling, Scotland. Another chapter is coming to an end and life lessons have been learnt. In the past month, I was blessed to see my cousin twice in Edinburgh. The last time was two years ago in the same city! We had a lot to catch up on and as always he makes you laugh until you cry! Edinburgh is a wonderful city. Every time I've been, I have seen something else. So far the botanical garden is my favourite, definitely worth seeing! For a nice lunch or dinner, I recommend the Caley Picture House, this Wetherspoon pub used to be a theatre and is truly a marvellous pub for its interior. For one extended weekend I said good-bye to Scotland and went to see my aunt in England, my cousin's family. It was so good to see my aunt and to see how well she is doing while battling breast cancer. She is such a good example of endurance and strength in spite of the tiredness. Together with her husband and her daughter we had a wonderful weekend. I could just relax, and enjoy some real family meals such as a proper English pie and Romanian sarmale. The third weekend of this month, I was so blessed to have had Parisa, one of my best friends, visiting with her sister. We had nice walks, good food and fun girls' nights:) It's crazy if you think that 2 years ago we had just come back from our Erasmus in Spain. Fast forward 2 years and we are climbing the Dumyat, a hill next to Stirling university, in such snowy conditions that the top was too difficult to reach. Following my cautious (luckily more than me!) friend's advise we turned back and continued are stroll in the forests surrounding Bridge of Alan. I'm so thankful they were willing to come such a long way for me! The last weekend, I took it a bit easier. Saturday I went on the same hike on the Dumyat, this time I went with Natasha, a greek friend from work. We were blessed with good weather so this time I could actually reach the top! We walked at a very fast pace so by noon I was back at my flat to just sort some things out at home. Sunday was a regular Sunday, which I hadn't had in a while. Church and student lunch, after which I met with Ruth, a Christian friend who speaks Romanian because she had lived there for a few years although she is English. I just started the second last week of my internship. I am going to be honest about how I feel because there's no use in pretending everything is perfect. I am happy to return to Belgium. My job here hasn't always been the way I had pictured it in my mind. In an ideal world, quality and scrutiny are the things to aim for, no matter the cost or time. But in the actual world it's all about business. We all know the expression 'time is money' and never did I imagine how it would apply to real life. Now, however, I do know what it looks like and I can't really say I enjoy it. My thoughts often wandered of to the forgotten kids in Romania who need people to love and educate them. The place I was at the end of December contrasted so much with the place I am right now, and at times my heart felt so broken. In a for-profit company, the focus is to make as much profit as possible. The company's services (e.g. translation) may be useful for many sectors in society but its primary goal is making money. Sometimes after a stressful day at work I feel I have become numb to my emotions. At times the routine work on the computer makes me feel as if I am becoming less human. In spite of all this, I have learnt to not LET YOUR CHARACTER CHANGE COLOR WITH YOUR ENVIRONMENT. This is a quote by Rachel Joy Scott, the protagonist in I'm not Ashamed, a movie I watched with Tina and Emma, two of my friends here who are from China. This quote is not always easy to follow, there have been definitely days I had to ask God for forgiveness because I could not control my thoughts. I have experienced more than ever how your environment can have such a great influence on your thinking and mood. In the end, I feel so grateful for these lessons, for being able to discern what I want to focus on in life, and the practical things I learnt during my internship that may be useful in the future. I do not regret having come here because I am sure that if you believe everything you experience in life is with a reason, and God can use all things to reveal a part of his plan for you. I am never going to forget my mates at my desk, not to mention the many cakes, cookies and fruits we shared, the jokes we made and the sympathy and encouragement in times of stress. Just like passing the bottom of the Dumyat hilI every morning and actually reaching the top, I have worked my way through a three-month job that has made me reflect on what will really satisfy my heart. I just have to be brave enough to reach that hill top and to take a leap of faith. I believe Jesus will help me to take that step, and I believe he is leading me along that uphill path. I thank my God for his endless mercy and love and for the parents he has given me because I did not deserve all this. Thank you mom and dad for everything I did not earn myself! I hope you as well, my dear blog reader, will have a sense of what your real purpose in life is, and that your heart may be truly satisfied! Many blessing, Suzanna
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